A brief look into Amazon.co.uk reviews that could quite possibly have been written by my father.

My father is, by all accounts, a remarkable man. He is remarkable in his complete and utter inability to correctly remember the choruses to even his most favourite songs. He is remarkable in his ability to cross the line without feeling any need to stop the joke, or the teasing. He is remarkable in the sheer volume of shades of grey to be found in his remarkably short hair. He can, on occasion, be a pretty remarkable photographer - the picture above is one I took of him which featured alongside one of his own pieces when it was published in The Times earlier this year. Perhaps most remarkable, however, is his ability to make some of the most controversial musical statements ever to grace this sweet Earth. Perhaps it is no wonder when I find reviews on Amazon such as the ones below - reviews that attempt to put shame upon some the most universally accepted artists of all time - that I wonder, even for a second, whether my father has defeated all his technical woes and contributed to the intermaweb...

On Radiohead's 'OK Computer':
'What sickk twisted mind wrote this album? The tracks are extremely dull and lifeless! I bought this album after seeing it at a very cheap price, £4 but actually found it to be worth -£4 and regret my stupid decision, who that is sane could like it? Refrain from buying I beg of you! 1/5

On Bob Dylan's 'Blonde on Blonde':
'if dylan was starting today he would not got past the x factor final''

On Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side Of The Moon':
'Nearly as over rated as My Chemical Romance.'

On The Velvet Underground and Nico's self-titled album:
'...in comparison to many albums released the same year, VERY conventional in musical terms.'

On Bette Midler's 'Experience The Divine: The Best Of Bette Midler':
'this album DEFINETELY deserves 5 stars!'

See, I think this is what I love about my dad more than anything else - whilst he didn't, as far as I know, write any of the above comments, he could well have, such is the predictability of his utter dadness. He's a remarkable man, and one who challenges me in so many ways (not least by putting on a home-made Musical Masterpieces CD in the car, one that features John Miles' 'Music' and a fair amount of Midler). I just wish I'd thought to write this two days ago, really...