1. Did you see the logo?
2. Michael Bay, the cinema god behind Pearl Harbour and Armageddon.
3. Shia the Beef. I refuse, by the way, to refer to anyone by their real name when it essentially refers purely to a meat product. Especially when they are one of the least worthwhile things to come to Hollywood since Nicholas Cage.
4. It features robots. That transform.
5. It's a remake of a Japanese cartoon series. That was turned into a TV series.
6. At least Iron Man had Robert Downey Jr. in it.
7. I'm for substance over visual pap.
8. Those robots? That transform? They're at war.
9. I mean, seriously...
And of course, the one overruling reason that explains why I'm watching it right now:
I'm bored, and it was either this or Employee Of The Month.