The Hallowe'en I Would Like To See

As Hallowe'en approaches there will always be the inevitable 'what do I go as?' fear. It strikes every year, and only those blessed with ADHD of the imagination don't get it. I myself had a fancy dress event the other week for which I dressed as Noel Edmonds. At the beginning of May I dressed up for one event as Luigi of the Mario brothers. I have to admit that I've been tempted to repeat either of those costumes, with a bit of grey make-up. Nothing says 'originality' more than Zombie Luigi.

Still, I've been thinking about the wealth of opportunities in our consistently terrifying modern world, and the effect that this could have on Hallowe'en. Frankly, there is never an excuse for a shit costume, and so I've been compiling a list of possible costumes I've been considering.

Zombie Luigi
Zombie Noel Edmonds
The State Of The Economy
Sarah Palin*
The puppet from Saw

Up until just now I had the Saw puppet as my front runner - I have a digital voice recorder that I've used to interview bands for our Uni music mag before, and was going to pre-record judgemental messages that put a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek twist on the recorded messages in the films:

'For too long now you have returned each day from lectures only to ignore your housemates... instead you lock yourself in your room and casually play with yourself until dinner.'

'For years you have blamed your farts on the dog, tonight you will learn that only your diet is to blame...'

And so on. But then I remembered last year's ideas over at HollywoodFlakes and am now torn. Do I go as a brain donor? Hospital gowns aren't easy to procure, and neither would a jar big enough to hold a cauliflour. But the response would be great. Or, do I go as an iPod advert? It's a tough choice, and I'll probably either remain with Saw or go as a brain donor - the iPod advert seems impractical for sitting, doorways and generally being inside.

Still, I may just return to last year's costume - put on a Venetian mask and everytime I'm asked who I am I change my answer: 'the personification of fear in a world desensitized by television', 'the looming dread over the upcoming US elections', 'Zombie Noel Edmonds in a Venetian Mask.' We shall see...

*If I don't see a single Sarah Palin this year I will lose my faith in the creativity of mankind.